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As July runs out of days, thousands of school kids are feeling the fast approaching end to their summer vacation. Let’s be real, thousands of teachers are feeling the same. The end of July doesn’t just signal an end of summer vacay for me, it also means infusion time.
Many of you know that I have MS. Because of this, I have an infusion twice a year with a medicine that drastically slows the progression. That medicine has been a godsend for me. However, I realized as I sat in the infusion center this past week, that isn’t the only godsend to come out of my infusions.
Every time I walk into the center, I am greeted by three wonderful ladies. They are the nurses who work that MS infusion center day in and day out, but they are so much more than that. Michelle, Bonnie, and Hailey are three women whom God has placed in this time and specific place to be angels among us. They are ladies who brighten the day of those who could easily focus on the negative, rather than the positive.
These ladies aren’t perfect, but that is part of their charm. They relate to the patients in the room and get to know them on a personal level, all while letting those patients get to know them. Does it do anything for my diagnosis to know that Michelle is a junk food addict? No, but it does good for the heart and mind as I laugh with her about it. Or talking to Hailey about different foods we each make and supplements we take, or Bonnie about her recent vacation. None of these help cure or slow the progression of my MS, but as I sit there for four hours, I’m not focused on sitting there for four hours.
These ladies have the God-given ability to understand and engage all the attributes of unselfish relationship building. They simply are building a relationship because that’s who they are, not to get something out of it. Too often our own relationships are built on something that, at its core, is selfish.
It’s about what we can get out of it, or maybe how we can fix an issue with the other person, or it could just be innocent in that we really need a friend. But we are still trying to get something out of the encounter. Something that benefits us. How do we avoid this? Well, when it comes to crafting a meaningful relationship, Jesus wrote the book.
Jesus wasn’t looking for something else; He is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. There wasn’t a lot He could selfishly garner from the relationships in His life. Instead, He built those relationships because He loved others; He cared for others first and foremost and that’s how the relationship was formed. There are three attributes that I see from Jesus as He builds relationships that I also see from the three ladies that brighten my day twice a year.
Power of the Name
If you spend any time reading the Gospels, or even if you watch the show The Chosen, you will notice that Jesus calls people by their name. Of course in Biblical times, a name was very important, as they traced lineage through it. Today we no longer say, “Noah, the son of…,” but an individual’s name still carries great power. When someone calls you by your name, it means they have a connection with you. It means they know something about you, that they have cared enough to know your name.
If you think this really isn’t true, walk into any high school and watch how students respond to teachers who already know their name, compared to the teachers who don’t. Names matter and every person that walks into that infusion center is greeted with their name.
Heck, this last time Michelle said, “Noah, look at all this space. I hope you brought you dancin’ shoes ‘cuz we can get down in here.” Did we get down, no, but we laughed and every person that came in after me was also greeted with a hello and their own personal name. It’s a lesson we should all take to heart.
Power of Listening Attentively
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone doesn’t really listen. You know the type…you’re speaking and they’re 100 miles away, or they’re just thinking about their awesome response. We’ve all seen it and probably all done it, but Jesus didn’t. When He listened to a disciple or follower, He was focused on what they were saying. It was how He was able to answer so perfectly every time.
All of these ladies at some point have put in my IV. They may be doing something physically at that time, but they are actually listening so attentively to what I am saying, and it means so much. When Hailey can ask me a question about something and not just respond with a thoughtless, “oh yeah,” or “that’s nice,” it means the world to me deep inside.
Expanding on an answer I’ve given with a follow-up, building conversation and forming a relationship, well, it’s something we all crave as human beings. We were designed to be relational and each of us should take a cue from these three when it comes to really listening.
Power of Being Real
There is no doubt that Jesus was real with His followers. In fact, He was real with those that didn’t even like Him. We so often put up walls and put on masks; I’m not sure we even know how to be real. We are often looking for how we are supposed to be, rather than who we really are.
That is why the ladies at the infusion center are such a breath of fresh air. It may be talking about family, food, fun, or pop culture, but whatever it is, it’s real. It isn’t that they are sharing their deepest secrets, but they are being authentic. There’s no hidden agenda or anything to be gained by talking about what you put on your salad, or crazy happenings at a Coldplay concert.
Being fake only leads to failure in the relationship-building department, as it is often easily spotted. Plus, the response to fake is also usually fake. This creates a relationship that’s based on an illusion and won’t hold up to any test. It won’t last, and it really isn’t any good for either party involved.
As I look at the example that Jesus laid out on this earth for us, and these three wonderful ladies that I see twice a year, I know this is how we should be striving to build relationships. Certainly if we say we are followers of Christ and we struggle with this at all, then we should ask the Lord for help and for Him to pour into us and strengthen our relationship-building abilities. More specifically, we may need to ask Him to increase our ability to know names, listen well, and to be real.
As I start school very soon and will have hundreds of new students in front of me, I know this is something I need to focus more energy on, and something I will be asking for God’s help with. I hope you will do the same. Until next time….
I am horrible with names and it makes me feel really bad when I can’t recall a name. I am and was so fond of many of the Dominic kids that came into the library and felt bad when I couldn’t remember their names! Thank heaven for those planners! And you are so right Noah, names are so very important. What if Jesus couldn’t remember us? That what if will never happen!
Thank God for that.