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Well Cupid’s special day has come and gone. Maybe you avoided that day like the plague, maybe you celebrated Galentine’s, or maybe you spent the night out doing something special with your significant other. Years ago my wife and I decided it was crazy to spend all kinds of money on the 14th of February. That’s not to say that you can’t. In fact, my daughter thinks we should go out and make a big deal. Of course, she is 20, and when I was 20, I probably thought the same way. However, now rather than fight crowds, get reservations, and look to buy something we don’t really need…a dozen roses, two fantastic steaks cooked by yours truly, trimmed with a baked potato and garlic broccoli, followed by snuggling on the couch watching one and a half episodes of Reacher, a new fav of ours, was just the perfect night. The fact that that all got to take place on a Monday night…now that’s celebrating V-Day!
No matter what you did, the real reason you are here is to read Part 2 of the relationship blog I promised after Valentine’s Day was complete. So without further ado, let’s get to it. In Part 1 I talked about what we should be looking for in all of our relationships, not just romantic, but friends, family, coworkers, you name it. Of course those things talked about in Part 1 – making you the best version of yourself, and laughter – you should also be doing for others. Relationships aren’t one-way streets. If it is what’s best for you, of course you should be doing the same thing for others. But how can you be sure that you are doing what you should for others? That is the question. Sometimes we can have blinders on and not see our own natural blindspots. Well, I have a surefire way that you can be for others what you should be and what God intended you to be, and I learned it at a funeral.
Recently a friend and coworker lost her father. I attended the funeral and, as is customary, people spoke at the service. She comes from a large family and has several brothers and sisters. They each chose to share an adjective describing their dad and explain why this word exemplified him. It was truly a moving and beautiful thing for them to do. One brother came to the podium and explained that he didn’t pick an adjective, rather he picked the word “heart,” and not heart as a noun, but instead, heart as a verb. He went on to explain in the most wonderful way how that was his dad and how heart was a verb for him.
This stuck with me. Over the next several days, I reflected on this. Heart as a verb. I told my wife, my kids, and they were kind of like, “ok, honey/Dad, that’s nice.” But I couldn’t shake how awesome this concept was. This two-part blog really came from that simple thing and me reflecting on it, praying about it, and really realizing that that is what God calls us to do in every relationship. You see, as the English teacher I am, I couldn’t help but think about heart as a verb. What is a verb? It is a word of action, and even when it’s not a word of action, it’s helping. Are you kidding me? A heart that wants to act, a heart that wants to help. Imagine if you took that kind of heart into all of your relationships. What would that mean to your spouse, kids, friends, Uncle Fred, cousin Eddie, the grouchy coworker in the cubicle next to you, or the person you just met in the grocery store? This was an epiphany. Why aren’t they teaching this in schools everywhere!?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks – where this is taught is in God’s word. 1 John 3:18 says, “My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” (GNT) Action! That’s what heart should be. When I started to look, the Bible is full of heart as a verb. In fact, Jesus modeled this concept when He gave up His life for us. He was showing us heart as a verb as much as anyone possibly could! That doesn’t mean we have to give up our lives; what it means is there needs to be action in our hearts – heart has to be a verb. If it isn’t, it is empty. It’s like those simple sentences we learned to write as a child. John was tired. What is “was?” Oh sure, it’s the verb of the sentence, but what is it really telling us or doing? It’s just there. Don’t let your heart be a “was.” Make your heart a real verb, one with action.
That is what my friend’s dad did. He touched life after life because he made heart a verb. You could look around that church and see the look on people’s faces. They knew what was being said was true: heart for him was a verb. Because he lived his life in that manner, everything else fell in to place. He made people the best versions of themselves, he loved deeply, he caused laughter, he knew when words of action were necessary, and he knew when to just throw his arms around someone. God used him to impact the lives of others, and He will do the same for us if we let our heart be a verb.
I know maybe the English teacher geeked out over the word verb and thought way too much about this small phrase. Some of that may be true, but what I know without a shadow of a doubt is that God calls us to love with action. I have read it over and over since hearing “heart as a verb.” And although it doesn’t use that exact phraseology in the Bible, it is clear that God wants us to have a heart full of action, helping others, and being sacrificial. That takes that word out of the noun realm and puts it firmly into the verb dimension. Alright, I better end this before I make you diagram some sentences. Until next time, I hope all of you can make “heart” your new favorite verb.
