Unbearable Me

Read Time:4 Minute, 14 Second

It is almost October and yesterday it was 90 degrees outside. Fall officially started a few days ago, but it feels like we are stuck in the dog days of summer. I’m so ready for fall and cooler temps.

I also felt some heat last week as I heard a message on Luke 9:23. This is the passage where Jesus tells us that when we follow Him, we must take up our cross daily.

The first thing that hit me between the eyes was the word DAILY. The crosses that we carry are with us always. We may not want them. We may try to ignore them, hide them, or squash them, but they are part of us.

Every single day we have to deal with them often, even if we don’t want to. Whether we decide daily to pick up the cross and follow Jesus is a choice, but that cross will be with you daily either way. If you follow Jesus, however, you can lay that problem at His feet, and He is true to help you through.

Another thing that stood out to me is this applies to EVERYONE. If you follow Jesus, there is a cross to bear. It’s not like pastors, priests, or just good people get off without a cross. We all have them.

Those serious issues that plague everyone in some way, like illness, pride, loss, anger, estrangement, and many more, can be a downfall. Following Jesus means that cross doesn’t have to lead to a crash and burn scenario, or even just a daily stumble. Following Him means that He will help with that cross. After all, He knows what it is like to carry a cross, to have an overwhelming burden on your back. And I would think most of us would agree that His cross trumps all of ours.

These first two really stood out to me and convicted me on both fronts. I need to do a better job each day of picking up that cross and handing it over to Jesus. He wants to help with it; I just need to trust Him daily.

The other thing is I’m not alone in my struggles. Of course Jesus is there to help, but it is also comforting in some weird way to know that everyone is dealing with something. Their cross may be different than mine, but Jesus didn’t say, “Hey Noah, grab that cross and follow me.” It was an invitation to us all.

Maybe that is also why He told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, because they are carrying the weight of a cross as well, and we need each other.

That could have been enough; some really good things came from that message, but that wasn’t all. What weighed on my head and my heart was not those first two. Oh, I believe those and left that message knowing I need to be better, but I was almost suffocated by this overwhelming guilt of “but what if I don’t want to carry this cross?!”

I’m ashamed to say there are days when it seems UNBEARABLE. When instead of turning to Jesus, I want to punch a wall, or let a string of curse words fly, or just sink into a dark place and shut everyone out, including my Lord. Of course no one sees this, except maybe my wife, but it is what is happening to me on the inside.

What is so crazy is I know how the Lord has helped me carry my cross before. I could tell you times when He has given me strength, or sent people into my life to help bear the weight. So many times He has been faithful, but I still have those moments of anger, of fear, of doubt, of defeat.

As I struggled with this conviction, this issue that the Lord already knows about, I realized it is at those times that I have to be the most intentional about speaking to God. Those times that I really don’t feel like it are the times I need to most. They are the times that Satan will hit the hardest and my prayer may not be good – no one is probably going to write it down – but it has to come. Even if it is as simple as “God, help me.”

Like I said before, He already knows what’s going on. He knows the cross, and He knows how at that moment, you’ve fallen and that cross is laying on top of you, and you can’t even move, let alone get up. No matter how you feel, ask Him for help, because He is faithful and true. And He wants to help get you up, out of the muck and mire, to continue your walk with Jesus, knowing that trusting Him means nothing is unbearable.

My prayer for you is that you can give that cross up to Jesus daily. Until next month…