Well it seems we are back to the routine of getting this out on the last day of the month. School and softball have both started and that is simply my craziest time of year. However, this last day (31) is still August, and the Lord put upon my heart some things that I really want to share with you.
A couple of weeks ago, the Lord reminded me that the feeling of being unworthy of God’s love is not the right way for me to be thinking. I was listening to some Christian music and several songs in a row seemed to talk of God’s love for me no matter what, and I was convicted that my inner voice often doubted this fact.
Of course, I know God loves me. Heck, they even wrote a song about Jesus loving me, this I know. But God showed me on that Sunday afternoon that I may confess that with my mouth, but do I really believe it in my soul? I want to think I do, but the simple fact is that Satan uses this against me all the time.
I can’t tell you how many times my inner voice has said to me, How could God use you? Look how you have screwed up. Another of my own brain’s favorites is, Oh, you’re not worthy of God’s love compared to others; you’re a bum. I’m sure there are many more, but these two pop up more than any others.
On that Sunday in the middle of August, God showed me that none are worthy in comparison to a holy God, but all are loved. I’ve heard this many times, and read scripture like Deuteronomy 7:9 – He is faithful, He loves you dearly, and He keeps His promises. You don’t need to wonder if He loves you, no matter what you’ve done. You are a child of God, therefore He loves you.
At some level, I certainly believed this fact. He is our Heavenly Father, and I know that I love my children no matter what, so God must love me that way as well. That’s easy to say, but as the master of lies fills your head with your unmitigated unworthiness, it can be hard to truly believe.
Well, God allowed me to see that by questioning His love, I was hindering my ability to love. What? 1 John 4:19 – “we love because he first loved us.” It is God’s love for us that enables us to love unselfishly. He models for us the way we should love others with a complete and selfless love. By believing or just putting credence to the devil’s lies, it is keeping me on the shelf, it is keeping me from showing God’s love through me.
As we begin school each year, there is always talk of never letting a student fall through the cracks. As a faculty, we try to make sure everyone is seen and has a place where all feel cared about, loved. A few sermons back, the pastor at church had a quote that really stuck out to me: “You are the answer to someone who has been written off.” Behind the words written off, I could add marginalized, or who feels unworthy.
As the Lord hit me right between the eyes with this, I thought, I don’t ever want to miss out on being there for a student or player who needs the love of the Lord to shine through me. I am not the answer to a kid who feels unworthy, but God, through me, is.
The Lord has been there for me time and time again. He has shown me over and over how much I am loved by Him, so why do I let my brain attack me with lies? I think that often our brain betrays our heart and what we should know to be true. I have asked Jesus to help me in this area. I have asked Him to not let doubts of His unwavering love creep into my mind, and to let His love shine through me.
I want to always be there for any student or anyone else who feels unworthy of love, or feels as though nobody in the world cares. I want to love like Jesus, so they know not only that they have a person who cares, but also a Heavenly Father who loves them.
Perhaps this is something that has plagued you. Satan is a master of lies. I challenge you to join me in asking the Lord to remove such doubt and to show you someone who may need His love shining through you. It might not be a student, but maybe it’s a coworker, neighbor, your grandmother, or even a complete stranger. Those in need of God’s love are truly everywhere.
This is something I am already working on and will continue as this year moves forward. I hope you will join me. Until next time, love like Jesus. And if you haven’t gotten a chance to check out my guest blog at Redeemed Hope, please do: https://www.redeemedhopeaz.com/single-post/angry-with-god-try-these-4-steps